I have always said that an athlete is 50% God-sent and 50% made here in our homes. If you think you have a budding athlete in your homes, I'm sure you are already looking ahead to times when he or she will bring home medals and trophies. However, it is important to also imagine times when there will be gut-wrenching failure, unending tears, and low self confidence and self-esteem. In fact, THESE will be the most challenging phases of your life as an athlete-parent.
So, here are 5 things to consider before embarking on this journey. I hope this will help you prepare for the role and the huge responsibility that comes with it.
1. Selecting the right sport for your child
There are 2 parts to this - one is intuitive - what the child likes to and wants to play and the other is through scientific testing and exploration, whereby a thorough assessment is done of the child’s abilities against certain mental and physical parameters. This has to be done by a qualified sports professional with specialised skills in biomechanics, kinesiology etc. We assess whether your child has superior explosive power or cardiovascular endurance or strength or coordination etc. so that the right sport can be chosen for him/ her to excel at.
2. RIGHT AGE TO BEGIN SPORT-SPECIFIC SKILLS COACHING
Ideally, skills coaching for a single sport should NOT begin before the age of 10. The reason being that certain motor skills which are not involved in that specific sport may remain forever underdeveloped when such training begins early on. However, if you are exposing your kid to multiple sports without the pressure of developing competency and professional competition, then it can have a lot of benefits.
Before the age of 10, what you should be focussing on as parents is the holistic motor development of your child. Ensure that your child goes to the 'ground' where they work on overall motor development with focus on basic skills like running, jumping, throwing, catching, climbing, hanging, coordination etc. These are very important skills that need to develop early on and more importantly, these skills are extremely difficult to catch up on in later years. For eg., I had a professional swimmer training with me who started swimming professionally very early in life and was extremely good at his game, but when it came to simple skills like running, it was very difficult for him because his legs were not used to that action!
3. HOW TIME AND EFFORT-INTENSIVE IS IT TO BE AN ATHLETE'S PARENT?
Initially it is not very time and effort intensive for both parents and the child. During that phase however, it is important to be consistent with the schedule of the athlete. Gradually as the athlete progresses professionally, it becomes a full-time job for at least one of the parents. There is too much of logistic planning and involvement that is needed - there is daily travel, tournament planning, nutritional planning, coordinating with the coach, trainer and other people involved with the athlete and in general, the day will start very very early for an athlete-parent, So, it is very rarely possible to manage a full time job along with all these duties towards sustaining your athlete-child's career.
4. BUILDING A SUPPORT SYSTEM FOR MY ATHLETE
On a daily basis, the athlete will interact with the coach, training, mental trainer, nutritionist, sports physician, parents, extended family, and also the school! So, it is extremely important for ALL these adult entities to be on the same page w.r.t. to the athlete's professional goals. This will involve a lot of counselling and mentoring for not just the athlete but all these people that have to perfectly coexist in order to achieve those goals. The basic intention here is to ensure that there are no opposite instructions and expectations communicated to the child which will hamper his performance.
5. 'Athlete burnout' and what to do about it
'Athlete burnout' is a phase where the athlete is overstressed. He/ she may show symptoms like losing interest in his sport, lack enthusiasm in training and coaching, consistent failure, prolonged recovery time, erratic sleep schedules, chronic body pain etc.
Physically the reason for this is simple - he may be overtraining. I've seen parents who drag the child to multiple coaches and trainers to 'get an edge' and 'get the best of all worlds', but it becomes so counter-intuitive that the poor child only suffers!
Mentally, there may be many reasons for this. The most common one that I have encountered is the 'fear of failure' which is brought upon by unresolved obligations towards somebody from the close support system - most commonly the parent. Please keep in mind that your child can hold a lot of obligation towards you for your time, effort and financial inputs in his sporting career.
To avoid such things, ensure that there is regular counselling and for the physical part, leave the scheduling of the child to professionals!
BONUS - 5 QUESTIONS YOU NEED TO ASK YOURSELF!
1. Am I trying to fulfil my ambition through my child?
2. Am I OK with my child failing or quitting?
3. Do I trust the coach and the trainer implicitly?
4. Do I allow my child to trust his coach and trainer implicitly?
5. Are you ok with your child falling behind in academics because of sporting commitments?
Take some time and answer these questions truthfully, because this will make up your entire attitude towards your athlete-child and will also define his career path. Remember - nothing can thrive in conflicting situations and beliefs and therefore, it is critical to gather a good team for your child - who can together build tomorrow's champions!
All the best!
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